I’ve Heard It All 2011

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The quotes below were added to my I’ve Heard It All! list in 2011.

“There are differences in culture and then there’s stupid people who just happen to be there.” [coworker]

“People bring their little problems to me all the time. It makes me want to hold them, and shake them, and tell them ‘you’re only this big, you know’.” [coworker]

“I need your magical merging fingers.” [coworker needing assistance on merging two versions of a source code file]

“I’m not a bad bad boy! I’m a good bad boy!” [a certain four-year-old in conversation with his little sister]

“She’s blonde. She wanders around being blonde all day. It’s her nature.” [coworker describing daughter]

Colleague 1: “We noticed that you haven’t been using the batch files we wrote for this.”
Colleague 2: “That’s because I’m faster than the batch files.”

“All they had to do was win!” [coworker / sports genius]

“Hey, I invited you to a meeting. <pause> You are not going to like this.” [subtle coworker]