I’ve Heard It All 2013

Home > My Lists > Fun/Humor > I’ve Heard It All

≤2009 | 2010 | 2011 | 2012 | 2013 | 2014 | 2015

The quotes below were added to my I’ve Heard It All! list in 2013.

“Btw, I appreciate that you use your brain. Thanks!” [best compliment from a coworker ever!]

“I itch like a stinkin’ monkey with chicken pox.” [How can you possibly know that?]

“I didn’t tell him not to not do this.” [coworker infamous for writing “Do Not Deploy This Time” on instructions for incremental code deployments]

“Are you going to need anyone from my team to support this [weekend] deployment?…I mean…are you going to need me?” [coworker in meeting of about 40 people trying not to sound selfish…and failing]

“I’d like to thank [James] for his assistance in solving this problem, and um, [Jenny] too, for her attempt to provide assistance…[room filled with oooo’s, laughter, and stunned looks, especially on Jenny’s face]…um, ok, that came out wrong…” [one for the meeting blooper reel]

“Will this [e-mail rule] work the way I have it set up?”
“Yes, it will! Now, ask me if it is going to work the way you want it to work.”

Project Manager: “Do we need a header at the top of every slide?”
Developer 1: “I don’t think we need it on every page.”
Developer 2: “We should probably add a cover page then.”
Project Manager: “Yeah, good idea. Go ahead and add a cover page.”
Developer 1: “Ok…[thinking]…Does every page need a cover page?”

“We’re just driving the ice cream truck…and eventually we’re just selling Koolaid.” [Management Proverb]

“Hey mommy, pretty soon, I’d like to go to the moon.”