The quotes below were added to my I’ve Heard It All! list in 2015.
“I like having the light on [at night]. It gives me more room to see.” [seven-year-old]
Parent: “C’mon, think outside the box!”
Child: [looks around] “What box?”
Parent: [surfing web] “…and this is a ticket to the game when Hank Aaron beat Babe Ruth’s home run record.”
Child: “Oh wow! [pause] Maybe we could go?!”
“That’s the only thing I’ve heard in stone.” [Coworker…I think he does this to me on purpose.]
Problem: The file format changed.
Solution: [Bob] resolved the issue by fixing the format of the file that gets sucked into this process.
[Because “fixing the format of the input file” might confuse someone.]
“We want to know when [Bob] creates chaos-monkey situations for us.” [A manager..wait, what!?]
“I want the application to know what I want before I have to type it in.” [One user’s software requirement]